I help adult children of toxic parents unfreeze their emotions and process the past so they can live authentic lives free from energy-leaks

without forced forgiveness, "lEtTing g0 oF tHe PaSt" or any other bullsh*t advice that only makes things worse...

My name is Vera Wilhelmsen, and if you’d seen me a few years ago you wouldn’t have recognized me.

In 2019 I was underweight, I looked and felt like a ghost and had been bed bound with mystery symptoms for three years.

Through some patterns in my symptoms I began to realize they only appeared around my parents or when I did something my parents would disapprove of and mock me for - which was pretty much everything.

I was struck with excruciating headaches every time I laughed because I knew I wasn’t “allowed” to.

This led me down the google rabbit hole researching narcissistic parents, toxic parents, domestic violence and scapegoat child family dynamics.

I realized I had been severely abused and that my mystery symptoms weren’t so mysterious after all.

Up until this point I believed my family was normal and that I was just too sensitive and couldn't take a joke.

For the first time in my life I felt a glimmer of hope in all the rage and disbelief - maybe I wasn’t such a worthless and disgusting person after all?

Maybe the constant confusion and pain would one day come to an end?

I finally cut contact with my abusive family and set forth to rebuild my life one month before my 27th birthday.

I was excited about my newfound freedom but I was...

  • numb and emotionally frozen
  • suffered complex PTSD (post-traumatic-stress-disorder)
  • was triggered ALL the time
  • my stomach and chest felt like they were made of lead
  • I had never taken a deep breath in my life

I knew if I ever was to be happy I would have to go through an excruciating healing journey with no guarantees of how long it would take or if it would ever end.

I would have to find a way to unfreeze my emotions and then feel the huge backlog of repressed emotions.

Would the remaining years of my life even be enough to feel through 27 years of abuse?

Was it even possible to heal from being abused by your own parents?

I wasn’t sure.

I seriously considered ending my life, but something kept me going: what if there were happy years in front of me, even though they might be far-off into the future? It would be such a waste to die before finding out. 

trying EFT (emotional freedom techinque) in 2020

(in the photo to the left I'm trying EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) in 2020)

I decided to keep going, but after a lot of painful and abusive experiences in therapy;

“they don’t mean it that way,”

“stop stressing out your parents with your depression!”

- I knew I had to charter a boat into the great unknown and find the answers for myself.

I wanted to heal!

So, I set out into the unknown, experimenting on myself and making up my own healing methods, with only the hope of one day being able to take a deep breath without emotional pain keeping me going!

Long story short, I found the answers and I am extremely proud and happy to report that I now feel like myself, and I stand up for myself, my feelings are flowing and the backlog of emotions didn’t take as long to feel through as I feared!

I don’t feel frozen or numb anymore! I can even cry during movies now!!

Getting stuck in your pain if you allow yourself to feel it is a MYTH.

And the best part; no more mystery symptoms!! I have never been happier and it still keeps getting better! I have started taking dance classes, moved to a new city and just started film school after discovering a repressed childhood passion! I’m finally living!

The abusers only delayed me, they couldn’t destroy me.

I was trapped, traumatized and in excruciating physical and emotional pain. I felt completely erased and wondered if I was too broken to ever heal. What if I did all this healing work and eventually began feeling good at 98 years old?

Luckily, it only took me 2-3 years, and it still keeps getting better!

Staying stuck is painful.

Healing is painful.

But healing eventually ends and life begins.

But if you stay stuck you will suffer for longer before you even begin healing.

Postponing pain prolongs pain and keeps you stuck in limbo.

Going inwards is terrifying, but not as terrifying as the thought of looking back on your life and realizing you never truly lived.

I know you have already tried getting help only to be shut down or invalidated, and I am so sorry.

I promise I will never tell you emotionally-blocking bullsh*t like “you just need to let go of the past '' or “if you can’t change a situation then you need to accept it!”

There’s nothing wrong with your mindset or how you feel! You are not “playing victim” or “blaming” someone! Let’s make this the last year of your life that was stolen by abuse and confusion!

If you relate to my story, then you might benefit from my e-book:

How to Trick Yourself Into Feeling Your Feelings: Even After Decades of Numbness And Trauma

(also available on Kindle, Apple Books and printed as a REAL BOOK ;) Look it up in your favorite online book store!

**The printed version is delayed! I will update my e-maillilst and on Instagram as soon as it's available!)

It contains all the tools I discovered and developed on my healing journey!

It got its name because in my experience, feeling painful feelings requires a library of tricks!

Sometimes the only way I could stay present with my pain instead of numbing out was to imagine myself in a movie with a sad, but beautiful soundtrack or stretch my stomach in a certain way to allow the emotion to move!

I had already tried meditation for three years and it didn’t do sh*t for me except cause headaches - I needed stronger and more specialized techniques to get the deepest pain moving!

Since I started my healing journey in 2019 I have been able to

  • go outside without feeling afraid
  • talk back to people who don’t treat me well and set boundaries
  • heal probably over 500 triggers that used to hold me back. EVERYTHING triggered me, it was EXHAUSTING.
  • become a confident and calm driver
  • be in confrontations and take up space without getting panic attacks
  • dress and act like myself
  • dance in public
  • stop people-pleasing
  • solo-travel
  • work
  • go back to school
  • move to a new city
  • explore my passions
  • start a YouTube channel
  • start a business
  • write a book!!

If I hadn’t done the inner work I would still be living a small life full of pain and mystery symptoms. To be honest I probably would be dead by now, because I was DONE.

It is painful and brave work! But your future self will thank you!

And no one can f*ck with you after you’ve gone on the hero’s journey straight into your pain!

You’ll flick away the users and abusers of the world who try you after slaying the dragon of trauma with love and presence ;)

You have come back to yourself and no one can shake you out of alignment any more.


  • Understand and use simple techniques for processing trauma and repressed emotions
  • Process the past so it can stop making decisions for you in the present moment
  • Heal triggers instead of avoiding them, so you can live a bigger life than your shame and fear tells you to 
  • A library of tricks to help you process emotions you can flip through any time you feel overwhelmed and want to numb out!
  • Learn how to navigate hard times, such as grief, breakups and the horrible time right after breaking out of abuse
  • Learn how to go with the flow of your healing journey so you can focus on living instead of looking for things to heal
  • Process guilt instead of acting on it

I was so tired of being in pain and being invalidated that I was willing to do anything. I spent years going to different meditation courses, therapists and reading books - while hanging on by a thread. I finally found the answers I was looking for and I finally feel like I am living.

Imagine if someone had gone through years of searching and testing out all the healing methods so you don't have to - well, I have!

It is time to process the past, turn the pain into wisdom and start living!

You can also find the book on Amazon, Amazon Kindle, Apple books and in printed version in online book stores. If you purchase the book here you will receive an e-book in pdf form which you can read on your tablet, Kindle or simply on your computer. I do not recommend reading it on your phone.

DISCLAIMER: Vera Wilhelmsen is not a licensed health professional, therapist or psychiatrist. Everything she teaches is her own opinion and from her own experience. Vera Wilhelmsen is also not "fully healed", because who the f*ck is, but she feels a lot better and is functioning very well :) Vera is a survivor who makes content for other survivors - aka NOT a professional so don't be a little b*tch and tell me I'm misleading people or claiming to be something I'm not. Thankyouverymuch.